Dating in your early thirties,

Suddenly, the guy who is still figuring things out at 30 feels more awkward than sought after in dinner party conversation or casual bar banter.

Somewhere after being a student ends and being a man begins, we shift our focus.

Not only did I somehow manage to date some really beautiful women, but I was blessed with a family that provided me with enough money to do so with a little style. What worked for you then is probably not working for you now.

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In your 30s, you may find yourself able to stand dating in your early thirties in ways that were never an option in your 20s. In my 20s, we sat around and wondered about the future, griped about the present and distracted ourselves along the way.

6 Things You Should Know About Dating In Your 30s

And those who are already know most of this. You need to have something to show. There was something about that sense of discovery in life and mutual fear of the unknown that served as the best way to connect.

You simply have more to work with.

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Developing comfortable dialogue with women was all about being in the shared moment. You need to turn your approach inside-out.

School was the priority and work was part-time at best. The emphasis was more on being unphased by the impending pressures and less on looking like you had a perfect road map. The bad news is your 20s are over. In fact, I recall with stark clarity trying to impress an old girlfriend with a patented college move of buying a round of shots, only to be met with a look of slight disappointment that I was still up to my old tricks.

Just like that, my long-term prospects are on the table — and make no mistake, my prospects play into my attractiveness. Being in the moment was the ultimate way to make a girl notice you.

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Bonding Over Aimlessness I had a great time in my early 20s. Not everyone is equipped to do that.

6 Things You Should Know About Dating In Your 30s

The cards we play have changed, and the strongest hand at the table in this new game has nothing to do with bluffing. In fact, what she used to see as your strengths have now become weaknesses.

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Wrestling with limited responsibility while feeling overwhelmed is something that young men and women bond over and even form relationships upon. Dating was simpler then, even though at the time I felt like the world was being altered around every decision I made.

If I am introduced to a woman at a party or at a bar through common friends, it takes only a couple of questions before we are discussing what we do for a living.

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When it comes to mingling with members of the opposite sex, these two decades come with competing rulebooks. The point is that confidence comes from knowing where you are and what you bring to the table, and owning it. Twenty-something women had less subtly nuanced expectations for how a guy should present himself, and, as guys, we were free to be easygoing optimists.